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Kingsley, Charles, 1819-1875

"The Water-Babies"

"

When he got into the middle of the town, they all set on him at
once, to show him his way; or rather, to show him that he did not
know his way; for as for asking him what way he wanted to go, no
one ever thought of that.
But one pulled him hither, and another poked him thither, and a
third cried -
"You mustn't go west, I tell you; it is destruction to go west."
"But I am not going west, as you may see," said Tom.
And another, "The east lies here, my dear; I assure you this is the
east."
"But I don't want to go east," said Tom.
"Well, then, at all events, whichever way you are going, you are
going wrong," cried they all with one voice--which was the only
thing which they ever agreed about; and all pointed at once to all
the thirty-and-two points of the compass, till Tom thought all the
sign-posts in England had got together, and fallen fighting.
And whether he would have ever escaped out of the town, it is hard
to say, if the dog had not taken it into his head that they were
going to pull his master in pieces, and tackled them so sharply
about the gastrocnemius muscle, that he gave them some business of
their own to think of at last; and while they were rubbing their
bitten calves, Tom and the dog got safe away.


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